ABUSE AND TRAUMA: HEALING AND ADVOCACY
Welcome to this healing space.
If you have arrived here, you are likely in a lot of pain. I want you to know my heart goes out to you. I understand and have been there myself and it is my greatest mission to provide you with hope, inspiration, community and a way to heal and gain complete freedom.
How do you know you are suffering from abuse?
- You feel you are walking on eggshells, scared of what is going to happen next
- You mould yourself and revolve your life around the abuser's demands
- You feel yourself becoming smaller and smaller, losing your voice, your rights and your soul
- You brace yourself for which persona the abuser will be today – Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde
- You find yourself constantly apologizing, questioning yourself and thinking it must be all your fault
- You find yourself excusing and justifying horrific, inhumane behaviour, desperately trying to hold on to the “love” you thought you had
Some of the severe aftershock symptoms of abuse include:
- An inability to function normally
- Trauma-bonding: feeling addicted to the abuser and an inability to let go
- Cognitive Dissonance: severe confusion with knowing you were abused yet remembering the “good times,” missing and/or feeling sorry for the abuser
- Shame/guilt/self-loathing for staying in the relationship against your inner knowing
- Emotional and Physical Conditions such as CPTSD, panic attacks, anxiety, chronic fatigue syndrome, other auto-immune diseases, hair loss, insomnia – these may also lead to more life-threatening disease
Narcissistic Abuse/emotional abuse/sexual abuse/physical abuse brings us to our knees. The pain is excruciating and in most cases is a matter of “do” or “die.” We can feel as though we have been psychically attacked, have had our soul raped or as though the narcissist is crawling under our skin. It can affect us on every level; emotionally, spiritually, physically and financially. We are completely ripped open and smashed to pieces. Many of us are left with our whole identities as we have known them taken away and all hope for the future lost. Our finances and health can also be left in tatters.
There is a whole spectrum within narcissism, from people with narcissistic traits to full blown Narcissistic Personality Disorder to Sociopaths to Psychopaths. There are also different kinds of narcissists.
While it is helpful in the beginning of our recovery to truly understand what has happened to us and to read about and research narcissism and the various kinds of narcissists so that we can begin to make sense of our experience and put the pieces together, prolonged periods of time doing this only add to the pain and addictive elements. What truly matters is that you feel as though you have been abused, that is why you are here.
Healing occurs when we place our focus firmly on ourselves and turn inwards towards all of the pain and trauma.
Who is my work for?
Perhaps you have suffered narcissistic abuse from a partner or spouse.
Or perhaps you suffered with a narcissistic parent/s or other family member.
Maybe you broke up with a narcissistic partner a long time ago, yet you are still suffering emotionally, unable to really move on with your life.
Or maybe you don’t know whether you have been narcissistically abused, you just know you feel terrible, are having trouble functioning and feel deeply confused.
Whoever the narcissist is in your life; an intimate partner, a parent or other family member, a friend or co-worker, you CAN heal.
How can my work help you?
My work aims to support you to regain control of your life and experience complete freedom. It helps you not only to heal, but to soar high into the life of your dreams while being fully yourself – your TRUE self and the self you really are and always were minus the trauma.
I do this by supporting you to release trauma out of your body, release limiting beliefs and form new healthy beliefs, reconnect with yourself from the inside out to become your true self and live the life you were born to live.
Let me explain a little…
No amount of logical or positive thinking is going to move trauma. That’s why so many of us get stuck in traditional talking therapies for years and little changes. Perhaps you have been trying everything you can think of to get well yet nothing seems to work.
That’s because there is a build-up of trauma in the body. Narcissistic Abuse brings this build-up to overflowing! No longer can we ignore it, try to think our way out of it, carry on in old patterns or hope to numb out the pain. The only remedy is to get into the body to face and embrace it head on, then to release it and love the little traumatized girl inside back to health and wholeness.
How does it work?
Along with Coaching, I use a range of healing modalities/process work, including Breathwork. During Private Sessions, you receive a lot of one-to-one attention to work with these elements. Classes, Courses and Events will contain these elements to varying degrees, depending on the topic/length of event etc.
Breathwork Therapy is a connected breathing technique that allows you to bypass the mind and access the subconscious/superconscious and your higher self. By feeling your feelings and accessing trauma and sensations in your body, you can release it.
During Breathwork you are also able to access your higher self, higher power as well as your connection with Love/Divine/Source/God energy or whatever your version of it may be, an energy higher than yourself.
Please note you do not have to believe in God or hold any particular faith to be able to do Breathwork and heal.
Coaching sessions are designed to move you forward and provide insight, wisdom and guidance on your particular challenges. They may include actions that we agree upon together that are aligned with your “beingness” as a result of the healing work and what you want to create in your life.
At the beginning we will be working step by step and breath by breath, very gently and going at a pace you can manage to work through the severe hooks, pulls and trauma.
In later stages, part of coaching can be learning about and aligning with Universal or Spiritual law and truths and how you can co-create your life with Source and be the generator of your own life. Through this, you begin to access your true life purpose and the meaning of your experiences. In starting to embody this awareness, you start to live from your soul which brings true fulfilment and joy.
Narcissistic Abuse is a spiritual wake-up call and soul calling of the highest order
I truly believe that there is deep purpose and a true meaning, wisdom and even a gift that can emerge from our experiences of narcissistic abuse and while I know with all my heart that this can be almost impossible to see or feel at the beginning, I have helped many, many women like you to access incredible power and purpose from within.
Those of us who have found ourselves in narcissistic relationships are usually empaths, co-dependent and may also have felt a “calling” on our lives.
Do any of these sounds like you?
- You worry about what others think of you more than what you think of yourself
- You put others needs before your own
- You over-give to the detriment of your own needs
- You don’t speak up for yourself
- You have a hard time creating and keeping boundaries
These are just a few of the traits of co-dependency. This was me too and I want you to know it is not your fault.
How our childhood and culture have shaped us
You see when we have been abused in childhood, or didn’t receive the love and care we needed, we didn’t learn about boundaries. We didn’t learn how to keep ourselves safe.
As children we were powerless to do anything about our plight and were at the mercy of our caregivers. If those people were abusive, we learned to accept that as our “normal.” We went into survival thinking and learned how to twist and contort ourselves to fit in with what our abusers wanted so that we could survive.
Within this we developed an emotional response to abusive events which was stored as trauma in our bodies. Alongside this, we developed beliefs about ourselves, others and life.
All of this formed our whole way of seeing ourselves and the world and our way of being in the world.
When we are viewing life from the perspective of being full of trauma and limiting beliefs, it is a bit like looking though a straw. We have a severely restricted and limited view with few options or possibilities.
From this perspective we are in survival, just trying to get by. Our life tends to be built on lack – a lack of support, finances, resources and most of all, a lack of self.
From this place, we become stuck in looking to the “outside.” We look for something or someone outside of ourselves to save us, which of course makes us highly susceptible to narcissists, who are looking for supply.
My work is about helping you to come back to your true self, the self you really are and always were minus the trauma and limiting beliefs.
Our culture has taught us to avoid this inner pain we feel. Perhaps you have been doing that up until now through all manner of distractions such as work, food, being busy, relationships or any number of other distractions and addictions.
But this time is different. Narcissistic abuse brings us to our knees. We cannot simply get up, dust ourselves down and carry on. This time the pain is too severe.
You see, we all have a “little girl” inside. She has been trying to get your attention and now she is screaming out for you to meet her.
Truly, all you need to heal are your feelings and the willingness to feel.
By feeling the feelings in your body and releasing it, along with building a solid connection with your little girl inside, you will be free.
Space opens up inside you to allow your own wisdom to come through. You are no longer looking through a straw. You become expanded with new possibility and choices.
In addition, I show you how to begin aligning with Source/Love/God/Divine energy so that you become a match for the things you most desire.
Then you become empowered to generate your own life and the life you were born to live. Now you move from mere survival to soaring high, higher than you ever imagined.